“Then God said to me, “Noah, I need you to build an ark and it has to be this big by this big.. I wanted to say God, “You me and my son to build a what. Then you want us to put two of every kind of animal inside?” But I know God the rest of the conversation would have gone something like this.”

Me, “God, I’m not a very handy person.”

God would have answered, “No, but you’re a faithful man. Besides I Am, do you not think I couldn’t give you the skills to do a job I called you to do?”

Me again, “No, it’s just I’m an old man. I was just getting ready to retire..”

God once more, “Retirement is cancelled. I’ll expect the ark to be done

Me again, “What about wood and nails? And the gallons of pitch to seal up the cracks..”

God once more, “Noah…”

Me one final time, “Ok, ok…